I loved this so much. In the movie Parenthood (I think an 80’s movie) Steve Martin plays a married man with teenage kids and his wife finds out she is pregnant. While they were arguing about what to do because he was the sole provider and feeling overwhelmed he said something like - women have options and men have responsibilities. That always stayed with me. I’m a feminist and I believe in equality for men and women. When I was reading your story I can remember the pressure I put on my ex-husband to be the provider and when he was nervous or anxious about bills or his job I was not as supportive as I should’ve been. I expected him to take care of us and not complain. Because if he got stressed it made me nervous. I didn’t give him the support he needed to be afraid, to be vulnerable. In my mind he had obligations and I had choices which wasn’t fair. I’ve learned a lot since then and your post reminded me of this. Your writing is beautiful and a lot of people feel alone in a room filled with loved ones. Hopefully with reading things like you it will help us to reach out and be more understanding with the people in our lives.
I loved this so much. In the movie Parenthood (I think an 80’s movie) Steve Martin plays a married man with teenage kids and his wife finds out she is pregnant. While they were arguing about what to do because he was the sole provider and feeling overwhelmed he said something like - women have options and men have responsibilities. That always stayed with me. I’m a feminist and I believe in equality for men and women. When I was reading your story I can remember the pressure I put on my ex-husband to be the provider and when he was nervous or anxious about bills or his job I was not as supportive as I should’ve been. I expected him to take care of us and not complain. Because if he got stressed it made me nervous. I didn’t give him the support he needed to be afraid, to be vulnerable. In my mind he had obligations and I had choices which wasn’t fair. I’ve learned a lot since then and your post reminded me of this. Your writing is beautiful and a lot of people feel alone in a room filled with loved ones. Hopefully with reading things like you it will help us to reach out and be more understanding with the people in our lives.
Thank you Kim! I really hope so.