Lust Lied to Me

After detaching from lust, I can’t help but see this strange thing happening in my mind, as if it were trying to build a shield by quietly finding reasons to dislike women.
Not from anger… but almost as a final defense.
A desperate strategy to keep lust from ever creeping back in.

It felt like my mind was saying: If you can’t desire them, then turn away. Devalue them. Push them off the pedestal.
But that’s not truth, that’s fear wearing a mask.

And then it hit me. Maybe this is what many so-called "alpha males" actually feel.
Not confidence, but strategic performance to cover their vulnerability.
A last-ditch effort to protect themselves from the power a woman can have over a man who hasn’t made peace with his own longing.
They weaponize their pain.
Pass it down to younger men like a secret manual for control, pretending it's strength.

But it’s not strength, it’s just unprocessed weakness disguised as dominance. Anything other than to face their internal battle.

It reminds me of a club. (Fight Club)
And the first rule is: never talk about the wound behind the armor. Men just pretending to be masculine while deep down they are still boys bleeding from an overdue unhealed wound.

I fear… these men will slowly regret how they went about life in the end.