Anxious Mothers Sacrifice

The Pill, the Swallow

Zombified mind.

I’ve gone numb.

Never the same.

Everything stalls in my brain.

Racing heart slows into rhythm,

Rapid breaths soften,

Shallow no more.

I breathe myself back to life,

Into the present.

But calm has a cost.

I’m steady, but disconnected.

The part that makes me me

Slips into the void,

Clawing on its way down.

But I can’t leave my children wondering

Why mommy’s face wears a frown.

So I let myself fall.

Down…

Down.

Their little voices reach me now.

No more shaking.

No more numbness.

I can finally say,

“Mommy is okay.”

Tonight, no tears over pressure.

Tonight, I can carry the weight.

I can be what they need.

So I give up the spark that made me me,

So they can run wild,

So they never wonder why mommy seemed mean.

This is the quiet curse—

The deal I make

To keep anxiety

From stealing us all